Recently, Kim Scott Mathers made headlines again. And while the reason the national press talked about her was, once again, not honourable, it brought back memories of other times when she was the focus of attention – both in the media and in songs.
Their love story is remarkable. They met when Kim ran away from the abusive home. Eminem recalled their first meeting in his 2004 interview for Rolling Stone, his, probably, most personal and sincere interview as a man and a father:
“I met her the day she got out of the youth home. I was at a friend’s house, and his sister was friends with her, but she hadn’t seen Kim in a while ’cause she was in the youth home. And I’m standing on the table with my shirt off, on top of their coffee table with a Kangol on, mocking the words to LL Cool J’s ‘I’m Bad’. And I turn around, and she’s at the door. Her friend hands her a cigarette. She’s thirteen, she’s taller than me, and she didn’t look that young. She easily coulda been mistaken for sixteen, seventeen. I said to my friend’s sister, ‘Yo, who was that? She’s kinda hot. And the saga began”.
In the memoir titled “My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem”, Em’s mother Debbie Nelson says that young Marshall brought Kim, a runaway, home to stay, and eventually they became a couple. It is true that Debbie did not have a good relationship with Kim, and her description of her daughter-in-law is not complimentary at all. However, when she talks about Kim’s relationship with Em as volatile, fragile, and intense, we do not need much proof. It’s all in Eminem’s songs.
Kim appears across Eminem’s catalogue in very different emotional contexts. There is rage, regret, nostalgia, grief, and bitterness. Her name has disappeared from Em’s latest projects. Still, it is impossible to erase from his life story and his catalogue.
1. “Searchin’” feat. Eye-Kyu & Angela Workman (1996)
Album: Infinite
There is no direct mention of Kim’s name in this song. Still, Eminem’s verse is nothing but a love confession and a marriage proposition. By this time, they already had Hailie and were moving around from one shabby place to another, struggling financially, Eminem wrote in his book “The Way I Am”. To add to the tension, their relationship was not stable, going on and off. Em’s mother claimed, and we should take it with a huge grain of salt, that Kim treated Eminem terribly, but the “worse she treated him, the more he doted on her”. You can find the traces of this struggle in the verse, but mostly, it is the purest declaration of love you can find in the whole hip hop genre, let alone Eminem’s lyrics.
I’m reminiscin’ on your tenderness and the snugglin’ and teasin’
Missin’ what I remember kissin’ and huggin’ and squeezin’
Buggin’ and wheezin’, I’m havin’ trouble when breathin’
It’s even tougher when sleepin’
But there’s a couple of reasons that I’m sufferin’ and grievin’
For lovin’ and leavin’
You’re all I’m thinkin’ of in the evenin’
You got my knees bucklin’ and weakenin’
Thoughts of nothin’ but freakin’
That I’m strugglin’ to keep in
Interrupt when I’m speakin’
I got some game that I’m preparin’ to run
The way your lips sparkle, and they glare in the sun
You got your hair in a bun
No matter what you’re wearin’, you stun
’Cause you’re comparin’ to none
I want to share in the fun, I feel a passionate lust
When I imagine it just alone at last when it’s us
I see you graspin’ to trust
But my intentions are good, let’s leave the past in the dust
I’m not askin’ to rush and answer me immediately
I just wanna be there for you and you to be there for me
If you agree, then repeat after me
“I love you” (I love you, baby)
’Cause I just need you to see
How much I’m eager to be your man legally wed
Your love’s keepin’ me fed
This is easily said, so you can lead or be led
If you care to be down
’Cause ain’t nobody like you, nowhere to be found2. “97’ Bonnie & Clyde” (1999)
Album: The Slim Shady LP
They did not get married. Not for a while. Worse even, Kim broke up with him again and threatened a restraining order against Em, preventing him from seeing Hailie. Frustrated, Marshall wrote a song, “Just the Two of Us”, venting his anger. It was released on The Slim Shady EP in 1997. Later, Em would re-record it as “97 Bonnie and Clyde” for his major label debut album, The Slim Shady LP.
Come on Hai-Hai, we goin’ to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let Dada strap you in the car seat
Oh, where’s Mama? She’s takin’ a little nap in the trunk
Oh, that smell? Dada musta runned over a skunk
Now, I know what you’re thinkin’, it’s kinda late to go swimmin’
But you know your Mama, she’s one of those type of women
That do crazy things, and if she don’t get her way she’ll throw a fitMarshall’s voice is as calm and soothing here as the story is horrifying. Bonnie & Clyde here is his infant daughter and him, disposing of the body of her murdered mother. (But also an homage to 2Pac’s “’96 Bonnie and Clyde” with the year updated.)
Mama said she wants to show you how far she can float
And don’t worry about that little boo-boo on her throat
It’s just a little scratch – it don’t hurt
Her was eatin’ dinner while you were sweepin’
And spilled ketchup on her shirt
Mama’s messy, ain’t she? We’ll let her wash off in the water
And me and you can play by ourselves, can’t we?Again, Kim’s name is not in this song, but Hailie is called by her nickname, making it impossible to mistake her mother’s identity. The same year that “97’ Bonnie & Clyde” came out, Eminem and Kim got married. In February 1999, the album was released, and Eminem became the most recognisable artist of the time. It was a whiplash pivot from leaving hand to mouth in Detroit in a “shitty neighbourhood” where they had been robbed or evicted many times. In June, the couple tied the knot. According to Em’s late mother, during the ceremony, Kim refused to pledge obedience to her husband. At least she was very upfront.
3. “Kim” (2000)
Album: The Marshall Mathers LP
“Kim”, while depicting the events preceding “97’ Bonnie & Clyde”, was written later, in 1998. But it was released in 2000, just months into their marriage. It stands in stark contrast to it, emotionally and sonically. There is no more restraint and maintaining decorum. Slim Shady screams in uncontrollable anger
Don’t make me wake this baby, she don’t need to see what I’m about to do
Quit crying, bitch! Why you always make me shout at you?
How could you just leave me and love him out the blue?
Oh, what’s the matter, Kim? Am I too loud for you?
Too bad, bitch! You’re gonna finally hear me out this time!That’s not the song you would sing in karaoke (while the chorus is genius and ideal for an emotional breakdown shouting). It’s nauseatingly convincing; the waves of emotions roll over the listener, making it the most uncomfortable and unforgettable experience. Kim is called by her name repeatedly in this song.
She was not happy about it. “I was embarrassed. I was humiliated. I cried”, she said years later in the interview for the ABC News programme 20/20. “I had to make sure that my kids don’t hear it. And then I always just wonder what people think of me, you know. He is supposed to be the man who loves me and is supposed to protect me from being hurt. And here he’s completely and totally disrespecting me in the worst way possible in front of millions of people and in front of our kids, my family, my friends. It just makes me angry because of what everyone thinks of me. And the fact that now I realise there must not have been much love there”. Kim said that Eminem promised her never to perform this song. He broke his promise on a day she was in the audience. Kim found it unbearable. She went home and attempted suicide.
4. “Hailie’s Song” (2002)
Album: The Eminem Show
The couple broke up again. They got divorced. Kim filed a $10 million lawsuit for emotional damage that “Kim” inflicted on her. They started a custody battle. Eventually, in August 2000, Kim agreed to settle the damages for an unknown amount and let Eminem have full physical custody of Hailie while retaining joint legal custody. Although the song, fully addressed to his daughter and an anthem of fatherly love, implies that Kim did not try hard to keep Hailie only for herself.
God, I’m a daddy,
I’m so glad that her mom didn’t *reh tnaw*Then Em goes on to list what emotional damage he has suffered because of Kim:
Now look, I love my daughter more than life in itself
But I got a wife that’s determined to make my life livin’ hell
But I handle it well, given the circumstances I’m dealt
So many chances, man, it’s too bad, coulda had someone else
But the years that I’ve wasted is nothin’ to the tears that I’ve tasted
So here’s what I’m facin’: three felonies, six years of probation
I’ve went to jail for this woman, I’ve been to bat for this woman
I’ve taken bats to people’s backs, bent over backwards for this woman
Man, I shoulda seen it comin’, what’d I stick my penis up in?
Wouldn’t have ripped the prenup up if I’da seen what she was fuckin’
But fuck it, it’s over, there’s no more reason to cry no more
I got my baby, maybe, the only lady that I adore: HailieAgain, Kim isn’t named directly in this song, but the lyrics leave no doubt as to whom Eminem is talking here.
5. “The Kiss (Skit)”/“Say Goodbye Hollywood” (2000)
Album: The Eminem Show
These tracks open and close the album’s story arc about the armed assault incident for which Eminem almost went to jail at the very peak of his fame. According to the news reports of that time, Eminem saw Kim, his wedded wife, kissing another man in the Hot Rocks Café parking lot.
Yo, who’s she walking with?
It’s the fucking bouncer
Did she just kiss him?
Dawg, she just fucking kissed himEminem attacked this man, a bouncer, John Guerra, but was overpowered and arrested. John Guerra claimed that Em pistol-whipped him, but Marshall denied it in court and in the song. What remains undeniable is that he put himself in this situation because of Kim, who flew the scene immediately.
I thought I had it all figured out, I did
I thought I was tough enough to stick it out with Kim
But I wasn’t tough enough to juggle two things at once
I found myself layin’ on my knees in cuffsFor this, and another incident that happened the same night, Marshall narrowly avoided jail time, getting two years of probation instead. In the song, Eminem looks back at the events of June 2000, and gives us a good idea of why this marriage did not work out.
6. “Superman” (2002)
Album: The Eminem Show
Another post-divorce song has a clear reference to Kim, but this time, he does not omit her name poetically. He outright refuses to honour her by remembering her name. He celebrates his newfound freedom and declares that not a single woman will seize his heart.
Ever since I broke up with what’s-her-face
I’m a different man, kiss my assAmong the stream of bravado, there is a hard truth hidden in these lines:
I’d never love you
enough to trust youThat’s what Eminem described in his 2004 interview as “the constant struggle of ‘will I ever meet somebody else that’s gonna be real with me, as real as I can say she’s been with me?’”
7. “Love You More” (2004)
Album: Encore
Kim got divorced, found a new man, had a child with him, got in trouble with drugs, and got arrested. Eminem got custody over Hailie, Alaina (Kim’s niece who basically grew up in Em’s family), and his younger brother Nathan. And, according to the songs he’s writing, he’s not over Kim.
The more you put me through
The more it makes me wanna come back to you
You say you hate me, I just love you moreDespite not having a name in the verse again, it’s pretty obvious who this song is about. Evidently, Eminem has no other mothers for his child:
It’s sick, but who could ever predict we’d be doin’ the same shit?
We say “We do it for our baby”, but we don’t8. “Puke” (2004)
Album: Encore
A pendulum swings from love to hate on this album, as it probably did in real life. But if more romantic songs are tucked into the tail of the album, this one assaults the listener in the first half of the project. This song is not meant to please anyone. It sounds exactly as you would expect from the title, as Eminem vomits out the anger and the bitterness
You don’t know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you, I pukeAnd this time the song addressed to his ex-wife very obviously, while somehow indirectly:
Now I’m sitting here with your name on my skin
I can’t believe I went and did this stupid shit again
My next girlfriend, now her name’s gotta be KimIn the 2004 interview, Em said about these songs: “It’s a love-hate relationship, and it will always be that. We’re talking about a woman who’s been a part of my life since I can remember”.
9. “Crazy in Love” (2004)
Album: Encore
This song might be about the rap game, or about all women in general, or about some unattainable big love. Still, in any case, the lyrics rely heavily on Em’s experience with Kim. In his 2004 interview with Vanity Fair, Marshall said about the subject of the song: “I kind of like to leave it as a mystique thing, but I would say that me and Kim have been to that place before, where we’ve had a relationship like that. We’ve been together off and on, forever. The song is technically about… finding my dream girl that I could have this kind of relationship with but probably will never find”.
10. “Mockingbird” (2004)
Album: Encore
Wait, it’s not all. Kim comes up on the fourth song from the album. This time in a softer voice, in a more tempered context of familiar love. The song is dedicated to Em’s children, and Kim here is a maternal figure, whom Eminem mentions without hatred but with warmth and sadness.
I remember back one year when Daddy had no money
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up and stuck ’em under the tree
And said some of ’em were from me ’cause Daddy couldn’t buy ’emEminem lays out the story of Hailie’s difficult early upbringing, of Kim’s and his financial struggles, of the success that came as an answer to their problems but brought the whole bunch new issues.
Shh, Mama’s only gone for the moment
That moment was an arrest, jail and a rehab time. In the Rolling Stone Encore interview, Em explained:
“In the last year, Kim has been in and out of jail and on house arrest, cut her tether off, had been on the run from the cops for quite a while. Tryin’ to explain that to my niece and my daughter was one of the hardest things I ever had to go through. You can never let a child feel like it’s her fault for what’s goin’ on. You just gotta let her know: ‘Mom has a problem, she’s sick, and it’s not because she doesn’t love you. She loves you, but she’s sick right now, and until she gets better, you’ve got Daddy. And I’m here’”.And that’s essentially what this song is about.
11. “When I’m Gone” (2005)
Album Curtain Call: The Hits
Another retrospective song about Hailie that also mentions Kim in the context of violence, and also an unbreakable tie.
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
“Daddy, look what I made!” “Dad’s gotta go catch a plane”
“Daddy, where’s Mommy? I can’t find Mommy, where is she?”
“I don’t know, go play, Hailie, baby, your daddy’s busy
Daddy’s writin’ a song, the song ain’t gon’ write itself
I’ll give you one underdog, then you gotta swing by yourself”
Then turn right around on that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother who’s a spittin’ image of herIn Em’s real life, a lot had changed since the previous album was released. Kim left the rehab, and since she was effectively homeless, he offered for her to stay with the kids and him for some time.
This time turned out to be longer than either of them expected. Eminem proposed again. Kim said later in the interview that she was not eager to marry him; she believed their relationship had a pattern: after two happy years, a horrible breakup would follow, and she saw that the happy era was ending. But Marshall believed they could make it this time and demanded certainty. Kim told 20/20 ABC: “He basically said, ‘You either know now, and we can set the date, or you can just take your stuff and go. Because if you don’t know right now that you still want to be with me, then you’re never going to know’. He had the kids read at the wedding. It was gorgeous, it was beautiful, I loved it”. But she was right, it did not last.
40 days into their second marriage, Kim and Eminem’s brother, Nathan, had a big fight, after which Eminem left without saying a word. There was a note stating that he needed to clear his head, so he’s going to the second house. He did not come back and later filed for divorce. But in this short time together, he formally adopted Kim’s youngest daughter, Whitney, who now goes by Stevie.
This breakup was final. “I’ve never went public with anything personal of his”, Kim said in her interview. “I didn’t want to because I always thought in the back of my head, like, I know we’re going to get back together, and if I do or say anything for the world to hear or to know. I was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to forgive me for that. And that we wouldn’t be back together. I always held on to that and never wanted to ruin that. Now I know that it was not meant to be. I don’t have feelings for him like that anymore”.
With this feeling of finality Kim started a new life. She stepped away from the spotlight, but old demons kept following her. She gave a birth to a son, Parker, grieved the death of her beloved twin sister Dawn, Alaina’s biological mother, and survived more suicide attempts.
Meanwhile, Eminem had his own life and death struggle with addiction. His focus had shifted to survival and family. After a near death experience, he got sober and had to re-learn how to rap. His obsession with Kim stopped showing up on his albums. But Kim, as a character, as a symbol of his emotional turmoil and toxic self-destructive relationship, firmly remained for several years longer.
12. Lloyd Banks “Where I’m At” feat. Eminem (2010)
Album: H.F.M. 2 (The Hunger For More 2)
In Eminem’s comeback era, references to Kim become more subtle. Theoretically, he could address another love interest that follows the same pattern of mutual destruction as they did with Kim. However, when Em talks about their past in no uncertain terms, there is more sense to accept that Kim still haunts him. Like here, on the guest verse for G-Unit’s Lloyd Banks.
Success is the best revenge to pay you back
And that payment is overdue
I overcame odds to get even
The sober me is shittin’ all over the un-sober you
And I hope they play this in every club that you’re goin’ to
I’m hauntin’ you, bitch, everywhere you turn I’m followin’ you
’Cause I loved you with every ounce of me, you know it’s true
It’s killin’ you now, yeah, I hope the ho dies slow in you
It’s ’cause of you now I don’t trust ’em at all, fuck ’em!13. “Love the Way You Lie” feat. Rihanna (2010)
Album: Recovery
This song has become a universal hit. It speaks truth to so many that it is easy to forget that behind the lyrics, there are real stories of artists’ abusive relationships with their ex-partners. And while Rihanna works through her painful experience with Chris Brown, Eminem, as always, turns to the main reference point of his romantic story – Kim.
High off of love, drunk from my hate
It’s like I’m huffin’ paint and I love her, the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I’m about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fuckin’ hates me, and I love itMarshall sees things more clearly now, being sober and out of a relationship, but its intensity still remains unmatched, years later.
14. “Stronger Than I Was” (2013)
Album: The Marshall Mathers LP2
A rare song carried by Eminem’s singing voice, not his rap. An anthem to resilience, very different from “Not Afraid”, but no less important in Em’s personal history. Written without using Kim’s name, the song nevertheless reads as a counterbalance to “Kim” from The Marshall Mathers LP.
You walked out, I almost died
It was almost a homicide
That you caused, ’cause I was so traumatised15. “Bad Husband” (2017)
Album: Revival
This song is an apology. The same way Eminem wrote “Headlights” to apologise to his mother for hurting her in his songs, he addresses Kim here, accepting the responsibility for his share of the toxicity he brought to their union.
If it could be spun back I would do
So many things different
’Cause it was such a dumbass excuse
You hit me once and that I would use
To continue the pattern of abuse
Why did I punch back?The closing line on the chorus echoes what Kim said in that ABC interview:
A great dad, but a bad husband
Time Heals
Over the years, Kim’s shade that used to loom over Em’s music has faded away. There are two songs explicitly addressed to his children on his latest album, “The Death of Slim Shady (Coup De Grâce)” (2024). None of them mentions Kim even in passing, nor does it give a hint of her presence. Still, Kim Scott is not completely out of the picture. What they have in common is their children. Even as adults, children still have a way to maintain this connection with their parents. Speaking to reporters in September 2023, Kim, who was clean for almost a year by that moment, said that her children, as well as her ex-husband, were very supportive, and Marshall made sure she was doing well. They see each other from time to time, she said, but did not elaborate.
Kim’s recent relapse put her in the focus of public attention again. Her life has been made so public that the darkest corners of her relationship with Marshall were turned inside out and thrown out there for everybody to see. And for her, this darkness does not go away. Hopefully, maybe, this time, Kim will find the strength to maintain the balance.
